I SEE HER for what she is — uneven, a runaway three-line poetry. Lesser minds have plunged her depths only to break the surface with questioning faces. All these years they never understood for they saw her differently, an odd number in the realm of pairs and parallelisms. She was often measured, but in their eyes she never rhymed. Her posture recited no theme, her voice sang no song. In the company of tall tales and verbose prose, she fell short of how they wanted her to be — like a radiant flowing verse in a river that rises and fades with the tides. I still crave for the right word to define her meaning. She has defined mine.
But I will hold on to her poetry for as long as these aching bones and weary heart will allow. I will hold on to her even when I know she will never fill me the way others can, because every word she speaks justifies my being. My fibers ache to be emblazoned by her name, her brazen self, and dream that history will read her for what she is and not for what she ought to have become. Help them read between the lines.
Indeed, all that’s good in life is brief and apart, like the prominent lines of the heart of a poem, disjointed yet mysteriously connected, defining and, therefore, expectedly alone. What the heart pours into words and when words turn into sword, she will never bleed to my sharp edges.
I see her for what she is to me. She is my Alpha and my Omega, my quiet night and my glorious day. She is the sunshine on my shoulders, the rain on my hair, my seasons of the year. And with all the labors of her birth and rendition, I bear the scars of her completion.
For she is forever my haiku, my 5-7-5. And I, the paper that enfolds her.
(for a most beautiful rose)
Beautifully written… you really captured the emotions in your words.
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Thank you, man!
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WoW,this is amazing!
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love your comment! :)
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OMG! Great way to write! Love your sensibility!
Mary
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i really appreciate your lovely comment, mary! :)
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I really appreciate the way you write! :)
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thank you! it means a lot to me :)
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Absolutely beautiful!!
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appreciate it very much, abby! :)
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First: hey, you’re back!
Second: lovely writing. I think the haiku is one of the better forms of poetic structures.
I like how you used 5-7-5 as your title. Some emotions are better conveyed through numbers.
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thank you for nice lil comment and for reading 5-7-5. yes, i’m back for some posting hopefully. let’s see where this goes.
although i’ve never really written one, i am fascinated by the depth & mystery of the haiku. they sing to me.
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very very good… I like this mood! thank you very much…
greetings from Berlin/Germany
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thank you!
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Pingback: Not That Kind of Love Poem (A Reading of “5-7-5″) | My Pretzel Logic
Wow! YOU write BEAUTIFULLY. I was mesmerized the entire way through all the while wishing someone would have written this about me.
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i really appreciate the comment, taylor. i am sure somebody appreciates you as much (or even more). some choose to express it verbally, some through writing. cheers! – neil
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The appropriate word here is “breathless” – N, The specific meaning: Short of breath or appearing this way because of excitement or other strong feelings! Your words indicative of breathlessness. Sums it up nicely I think, Penny
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i am deeply encouraged by your words, penny. i never thought that this piece would mean anything to anybody other than me. thank you!
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I think that is frequently the case of things, when writing. A gifted writer will write from the heart, a discerning reader will recognize those feelings, just my thoughts on the subject. You’re sincerely welcome!
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: )
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“I see her for what she is” *sigh* … and a 5-7-5 nonetheless ;)
“Help them read between the lines” ~
Wow… I sense a deep love and yearning devotion here…
Just beautiful writing pretzellogic ~ Bravo my friend :) x RL
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yes, this love is unequivocal. your comment practically brought me to my knees, robyn. so generous of you. thank you! : )
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Oh that is so sweet ~but stay on your feet my friend, as you never know who/what will come “knocking at your door” :) Sending Love -(the unequivocal sort) ~ x RL
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wise words :D thanks again! sending love back.
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I just stumbled over this touching love letter. This makes me wanting to be a 5-7-5 and everything that comes along with it. She must be proud of you;)
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you are awesome! we are like a haiku in many ways, so you are too :) thank you for stopping by and for the lovely comment.
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Wow.
Just wow.
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thank you so much :)
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Oh, this is beautiful, Neil. Sigh.
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coming from you, these kind words are doubly sweet. thank you.
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Majestic stuff there sir, your word combinations delight and impress in equal (and rather large0 measures.
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your comment is much appreciated, ste j!
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If I was a lady this would make me want to flirt with you.
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LOL! that’s one helluva compliment. thanks bro!
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Achingly beautiful.
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thank you, nadia :)
…and i’ll still be waiting for your next post ;)
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Thank you, and it’s there, as I’m back in the blogosphere at last. And truth be told, posts like yours make me want to write something fucking beautiful. Inspiring.
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how could i miss it in my reader? i’ll check it out pronto and welcome back. you’re one of the very very few writers (not just bloggers) out there who really make me smile with their wit/humor.
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Wow wow wow I love this! So beautiful comparing a woman and love with a haiku. And the last picture is perfect
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thank you, daile :) the last pic, the stick in hand, is starting to become mandatory. tried to quit yesterday. it lasted only 26 hours. i’ll try again today.
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I quit 18 months ago :) don’t ever stop trying to quit because every time you fail you are one step closer to success
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congratulations! it must have been tough. in my case, having a close friend who lives in the same apartment building and rides in the same car with me every working day and smokes a lot does not make this any easier. i really appreciate what you’re saying. i’ll keep your success in mind as i give another go.
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My partner at the time refused to give up smoking so it was very tough. And I failed many times previously before I finally succeeded. I actually went to my Dr and we came up with a plan and I had support from her. You will do it when you are ready :)
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thank you for the lovely pep talk :) i’ll keep you posted. here goes….
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*swoon* bittersweet and lovely as always.
I’ve been meaning to ask you, where do you get the gorgeous photos you post with your work? Are they yours? Or are you just much more talented at google image searches than I am? Either way, I’m jealous.
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lol. most are courtesy of my excellent scrounging abilities, while very few are mine. i hope the name of the sources of those i scrounge are still embedded in the photos as i intended. i am lazy sometimes but i do my best :)
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Awesomesauce. Might a girl be able to convince you to scrounge on her behalf once in a while? *amb bats her eyelashes*
Lol, don’t worry, I don’t have anything specific in mind at the moment. I’m just planning for when I get a really good WoW Friday quote and want to be all artistic about it ;)
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of course. be my guest ;)
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Another beautiful piece of poetry my friend.
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you’re right, alastair. i found this comment of yours in my spam folder. thanks!
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Hoping that gets sorted soon. They’re working on it over the weekend it seems
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hope so too.
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