My Pretzel Logic
I HAVE NO illusions of immortality. Superman is stuff of comic books and I don’t want to be the pallbearer to the Lois Lane(s) of my lifetime. Pain can be endured, grief is unbearable. I want my children to live a full life. Let them be my pallbearers for children are supposed to bury their fathers. I have no visions of grandeur. I count my blessings no matter how small. I count my friends. I keep tab of the number of knives I have sticking out the small of my back. Luckily there are very few.
I am thankful for the years I managed to coast along (not soared, but barely coasted along) no matter how harsh some of them have been. I can still crack a smile knowing that the kings of the world are for leviathan sunken ships, and here I am, standing with my grim-weathered face, a skipper of my tiny fishing trawler through rough stormy seas. My life experiences have mellowed me, humbled me. The fiery rage had tapered down to glowing cinders. Piercing screams stifled to a whisper. I have long bid goodbye to the youthful idealism I have nurtured once, not for loss of hope but for better appreciation of realities. I regard lofty goals with measured pragmatism and view failures and desperation with robust prospects.
I see myself in music. Somebody told me that I am a rap symphony. Move the horn section aside and make room for Snoop Dog and the boom boxes. I am fucking Ludwig van Beethoven in over-sized shirt. Wear the blings and let the curls down to please the homies. Let The Chairman of the Board and King Cole toss and turn. Leave them be. This is my time and I’ve got to keep my rhythm.
But all I ever wanted is a passing glance. I convince myself that I exist in my own nondescript way while the world went on in its damn big hurry. I take time to stop. I grab every conceivable opportunity to take a respite and admire the mellow shade of sky. Then I can dream of a forgotten world of poetry and prose, of silence and its eloquence and then crash back to earth with a sickening thud and bask in my insignificance.
I am but a Zippo spark in a multitude of darkness. Let me flicker in my own little realm for, as in life, stars that burn twice as bright only shine half as long. I seek hope and faith and love, but mostly the last. Because in this rapidly-changing world, where all will soon be lost, love will be the last to go.
Today I look back and reflect at all the cards I have been dealt with thus far. And, although sometimes I pray that somebody re-shuffles my sorry deck, I still thank God. A perpetual trio of aces isn’t bad at all.
(pretzel on the block)
Hi Neil,
Long time no see *_^
Thanks for following LUMINNEJ all these while. Just to update you that we have moved to a new platform. Do surf over to our new home at http://luminnej.blogspot.com/ for more of the same luminously beautiful stories. See you there! Hope you would follow us from there too *_^
With love,
Jeann from LUMINNEJ
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thank you for dropping by, jeann. big congratulations to you and your new blog. it looks really fantastic! let me find a way to follow you at blogspot via wordpress and will definitely (and eagerly) be looking forward to your posts.
more power and all the best, neil
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Thanks thanks for the lovely compliment! Hope it’s not too much of a hassle…see you again real soon and till then, take good care ya! Keep those creative juices flowing, will you?
Cheers,
Jeann
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Hey Neil. How about another dance? http://yashikibuta.wordpress.com/2013/06/23/thank-you-2/
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most certainly, yashie! thanks very much!
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I have enjoyed wandering through your thoughts this afternoon….
you have a gift of being natural…no masks when you write….
clarity…..Thanks for sharing you….
Take Care…You Matter…
)0(
ladyblue
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one of the best compliments i have ever received! thank you so much, ladyblue, i will try my best not to disappoint.
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Merci de suivre mon blog. Paix. v–0.o–v
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Pas de problème.
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Hi Neil,
It is heartening to know that wisdom has gradually distilled onto your life, which you have embraced with a much better understanding.
SoundEagle is certain that you will evaluate yourself in a different light, as you continue to unlock, examine and interpenetrate various aspects of your life(style) and psyche.
Happy March to you and your family! Since this is the very first comment here in 2013, SoundEagle would like to wish you a new dawn and an even better year of learning and discovery in 2013!
SoundEagle hopes that you continue to do very well and find fulfillment in whatever you enjoy doing and savouring, especially through your “Pretzel Logic” and “Caffeine & Twisted German Biscuits”.
Cheers!
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hello. that is so thoughtful of you. it is so nice to receive a comment here after a long while. just wanted you to know that your positive wishes and insights are very much appreciated and i hope SoundEagle will find as much fulfillment as I have for this year so far.
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You are very welcome, Neil. May you find the contents and styles of SoundEagle’s blog just as thoughtful . . . . .
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You’ve been Nominated again Niel! Dun dun dun! Enjoy my little spin on the Liebster award! http://ciciladybug3.wordpress.com/2012/12/07/random-award-i-swear-its-the-last-chain-ill-ever-do/#comment-364
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hello cici! sorry for the late reply as i’ve been buried with work. thank you very much for the nomination! what a way to welcome me back to wordpress :)
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Neil, it is my honor to share The Sensual Blogging Award with you! I love your blog, your writing, and your style! Stop by if you’d like to pick it up http://wp.me/p2wxQT-jT . :)
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so thoughtful of you christina! it’s quite a surprise that you think i am worthy of nomination for the sensual blogging award, and it’s cool! thank you very much for honoring me with this. hope i could catch up with my award backlog soon :)
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Read the Caffein Chronicles. I haven’t read anything that has made me feel in such a long time. Your words are lovely and you are a true writer. Looking forward to reading much more from you
– Teresa
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that’s a lovely compliment. thank you very much, teresa :)
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Zippos are collectors items. Although you claim to be a spark…I am thinking you are perchance a full fledged lighter. Perhaps you are a rare thing and I shall pretend I possess you on a shelf in my mental storehouse of things that I should have bought at one point or the other in my life. I am not sure what color of Zippo you are. Unless you have a suggestion……something for me to ponder. :) (Since we seem to be exchanging smiles I thought I would send one more your way.)
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what a lovely comment. the color of zippos always remains the choice of the owner. but if you can picture a jet black zippo adorning your mental storehouse then let it be, because i am at my deepest black at the moment. perhaps some things need not be bought to be possessed. for what is purchased ownership but an intent to sell at a future time. better to just be there, ethereal yet ever-present, unassuming yet unmissable, wanting nothing more than a passing glance :)
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I shall give more than a passing glance to my jet black Zippo. Your words are beautiful. Thank you for sharing them with the world. It is a rare gift you offer to strangers and I am sure you bring a smile to more than just me. And deepest black? That makes me sad.
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i am deeply humbled by your generous thoughts, toasha. i appreciate it very much! and you know what? my day’s a lot brighter already :) all the best! – neil
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Oh….so good to know I can help, even if only for a moment. You should have brighter days!
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:)
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Where are you located Neil?
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philippines, toasha :)
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Do you have a facebook page?
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alas, i’m a grossly inactive facebook user for some time now. i have so little time lately that i can only maintain one social media account, and full attention gravitated towards wordpress. however, i’d admit the idea of putting up my blog page account on FB is hovering. will sure let you know if i do :)
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That would be wonderful : )
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Writing about yourself is hard. Beautifully written. Kudos :)
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it is, right? i wrote this on the occasion of my birthday 3 years ago. thank you for the lovely comment :) all the best! – neil
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I just noticed the picture today… sorry, but I want to eat it! lol! Have a happy day Neil!
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honey-glazed goodness right?
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Yes it is!!! :)
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have a nice day!
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OK, everybody loves your blog, Neal, and that includes me…I nominated you for a Sunshine Award…
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thank you so much, liana! you’re so wonderful! i’ll do this along with the addictive blog award soon : )
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I’m addicted to pretzel… I mean the pretzel logic so here’s what happens to the blog that’s TOTALLY addictive… YOU get an award http://s1ngal.wordpress.com/2012/09/21/addiction-awarded/
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thank you s1ngal! because of this wonderful nomination, my friday is much much better already :) this and you are awesome!!
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payback time I guess… HAPPY FRIDAY!!!
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you have a very good one too!
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Congratulations, I just nominated you for One Lovely Blog Award: http://esengasvoice.wordpress.com/2012/09/19/one-lovely-blog-award/
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what a wonderful surprise! thank you very much! i am honored by your kind nomination. and congratulations to you as well! :)
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love the new look!
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lol. the michelangelo thing? thank you so much, liana! :)
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I love the voice behind your writing!
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thank you, andrea! i see that you’re off to a great start with your new blog. a big welcome : ) will eagerly follow you and will check out on your latest adventures (including that europe jaunt!). all the best! – neil
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Thank you so much! I appreciate it. I definitely look forward to further exploring your blog.
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thanks!!
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Eloquent and enchanting :)
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much obliged! :)
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Pingback: The Liebster Blog Award. My “writer’s ego” could not be more swollen. « I am an Afterschool Special
Brilliant. You are grand. I love that someone told you you are a rap symphony. I believe from this day forth that we should keep a running list of the best things/ compliments that people say to us. That is one of them.
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thank you! not a bad idea at all! your comment is now one of them :)
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shucks
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:D
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Well, I finally got around to accepting your inspiring blogger award. You know, if you hadn’t sent one to me, I would have sent one to you. I love reading your posts (though I’ve lagged a bit of late) I wanted to thank you personally but if you’d like to see the post where I thank you as well. Thank you again Neil! http://ciciladybug3.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=977&action=edit&message=6&postpost=v2
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Oops! Sorry, wrong link! lol http://ciciladybug3.wordpress.com/2012/09/09/the-very-inspiring-blogger-award/
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so nice to hear from you cici! finally hehe. c’mon, we’ve got to know things about you :) i know how time consuming it could be. just glad that you decided to pay it forward :) congratulations and thanks!
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I know, I’m a bum! I’m gonna try to post more, but that silly scene wouldn’t let me do anything else! Besides, I have a house that has yet to get up and clean its self! LOL the work of a mother and all that jazz!
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if your house gets up and cleans itself, pls let me know. need to get one of those. lol
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Hahaha! It’s called children! Not the most reliable, but you know… :P JK…It’s just one child atm! hehehehe!
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:D a child atm. i need to see one that says, “deposit only”
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Hahaha Child ATM! That’s kind of an oxymoron! More like infuriatingly cute money pits! They have me wrapped around their little fingers, don’t ya know.
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OOp! I mean one that cleans…the other one is pure mess maker most of the time LOL
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at least it balances itself out :p
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Sure! We’ll go with that! Hahahahaha!
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I enjoyed your caffeinated laced sentences so much you are the first on my list of nominations for One Lovely Blog Award.:-)
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hi jofelyn (can i call you that?)! actually i saw your post last night but decided not to comment until you make it official hehe :-) thank you very much for remembering and for having My Pretzel Logic first in such a distinguished list! it’s quite an honor. i’d be happy to pass the love around. i received 3 other nominations recently and i was thinking about doing it all together in one post. thank you again and congratulations to you!
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You can call me Jofelyn if I can call you Neil. :-) You must have rolled your eyes when you saw your name in the nomination hahaha ‘ not again’ just kidding. I am not surprised you received 3 nominations already. You wooed a lot of bloggers with your tender hearted writing. This nomination is indeed quite a task but it is also a fun way to show one’s admiration and appreciation to other bloggers. I must say I rather enjoyed the messaging part to let you all know I nominated you. I can imagine the teenagers I nominated shrieking when they check their notification. Lol. They go crazy for stuff like this. Anyway thanks also. Cheers. Happy weekend.
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please call me neil. actually i didn’t :) i happen to have a different view on blog award nominations. maybe i can touch on that subject a little when i post the awards blog entry (which will be a long one i can see). i agree that it is always nice to be remembered and to pass it on and make your nominees feel that they too are remembered. i can just hope that everyone feels the same way we do about these nominations. have a nice weekend! :)
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You’re a really great writer! I like pretzels, so I think we’ll get along just fine. Thanks for following me! :D
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thank you lily! nice to know that you like pretzels too :) will be eagerly following your blog!
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Beautifully said, you have an amazing way with words. I am new to blogging and I find you very inspiring. Thank you for being yourself and for sharing you deepest truths with us.
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thank you for the lovely words, veronique. i visited your blog and found your entries fascinating. wishing you and your healing centre all the best!
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Beautiful :-)
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thank you! :)
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Best ‘About’ I’ve seen yet! Thanks for stopping by and liking my most recent blog post…it led me to yours and I’ve pretty grateful for that. Looking forward to seeing more.
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thanks very much! i love your video posts. you have quite a selection. please keep ’em coming :)
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Neil!! So glad you liked a a post of mine recently, because it means I’ve discovered your blog! I absolutely love your writing style and will be visiting often from now on. Cheers!
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’twas a pleasure to discover your blog as well, amber! and i’m really looking forward to you “talking too much” online :)
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Happy I stumbled upon your blog, Neil. Recent observation: a pretzel is a misshaped infinity sign. Looking forward to new creations!
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it’s nice to have you here too, millie :) yeah, it’s real close. take out one of the holes and voila, the infinity symbol!
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OMG, totally overwhelmed. I’m going to start eating some pretzels myself (and I know that’s the longest shot…. :sigh: speechless)
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starting with the basic hard, sprinkled with sugar variety is traditional :) welcome to my pretzel logic and many thanks!
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You are an excellent writer! So poetic!
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thanks very much! really glad you’re liking it :)
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You make me smile!
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i hope that’s a good thing, toasha :D thank you!!
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It is very good!
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thanks very much! :)
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I like your writing style :) (and your taste in books – you mentioned some of your favorite authors in the Award post and as I love to read I’m always curious to know what others are reading!).
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hi letizia! welcome to my humble page! thank you for your kind words! i kind of gravitated to the prose poetry genre as of late. glad you liked it :) i have this embarrassing habit of reading 2 books at the same time. i choose which book to continue reading each time i go to bed every night. i read e-books using kindle app. right now i am reading david sedaris’ “me talk pretty one day” and howard e. wasdin’s “seal team six.” what books are you reading at the moment?
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as i mentioned in my post to you and for the benefit of others who are looking for their next good book, you might want to consider cheryl strayed’s non-fiction book titled “wild” which i found “wildly” amusing, smart, hilarious at times and inspiring. it’s about her adventures trekking the Pacific Crest Trail solo.
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I sometimes read 2 books at a time as well :) I’m only able to do this if the books are very different in nature though (or else I get them too confused in my mind!). I loved Sedaris’ ‘Me Talk Pretty One Day’, especially as I am from France so his French adventures made me laugh so much. When you finish it I recommend listening to the audio version as he has great delivery.
I just started a book on Ezra Pound called the Pound Era. So far so good (well, I’m on page 4 so it’s hard to make sweeping generalizations at this stage). Lovely to make your blog-acquaintance (I’m quite new to all this too!).
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it is comforting to know that i’m not the only one suffering from this nasty reading affliction :)
incidentally i also have the audio book of “me talk pretty one day.” but since i tend to “devour” every word of books i read, i decided to read first. i feared that he might read too fast for me to absorb the full impact of his wit. my favorite line so far is (and slightly paraphrased here to fit my inclinations :p): “because my former girlfriend was so good-looking, i had always insisted that she must also be stupid, the reason being that it was simply unfair for someone to be blessed with both gorgeous features and basic conversational skills. she was, of course, much smarter than i give her credit for, and she eventually proved her intelligence by breaking up with me.”
the pleasure of making acquaintance is entirely mine :)
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I know you know, and I’m grateful that you’ve so graciously accepted the nomination but I owe you an official ‘notification’ so here goes:
Your words have an intoxicating effect, I find myself drowning in the ‘latte mug’ depths of you caffeine chronicles, and it has a shockingly refreshing effect :) so thanks for inspiring me!
http://foroneplease.wordpress.com/2012/07/29/inspiration-awarded/
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haha. i almost spilled my instant coffee the way you put it. officially, i am very much honored by your kind nomination.
drowning — i have that effect on people, sadly :p really, just glad you’re around to welcome a “newbie” like me. thank you!
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Admiring and taking inspiration from your “LOGIC” !!
A joyful and bright blog you’ve got here !
And thank you so very much for dropping by my blog !!! ;-)
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Many thanks Prashant! Your blog, on the other hand, is never short of very interesting and thought-provoking subjects. Eagerly awaiting the next post! :)
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Neil, you are very humble and poetic. :D
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thank you, tina! we are all struggling writers in our own little ways :)
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Thanks for liking, commenting, and following my blog! :-) It brought me to yours and I find it very intriguing…especially in the way you use words! Keep it up and following you back, looking forward to what you have to say! All the best, Aims from http://www.aimsphotos.wordpress.com
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love your photos. they possess an element of nostalgia. though i don’t have a clue about photography, i am constantly drawn to nostalgic photos. hope i could use one of them for my future posts. Thanks for the comment and looking forward to do more aimsphotos visits :)
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Thank you for your kind words. :-)
Depending on which picture you’d like to use, I’d probably allow it, especially if you acknowledge the photographer ;-)
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thanks, aims! full acknowledgement and endorsement of course :D i’ll let you know and seek your approval once i find it. i hope to use it in one of my coming ‘The Caffeine Chronicles” posts.
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Thanks :-)
For sure! :-D Good luck, eh!
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much obliged :)
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I am intrigued by your words…your descriptions. I see myself in them. My own sad story. I just wanted to encourage you to keep writing, keep hoping, and keep being thankful…you are very talented. :)
Christina ~
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i am moved by your empathy and inspired by your encouraging words. thank you, christina! :)
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I am so very pleased that I could offer some little inspiration and encoragement. I absolutely love the images you create in my mind with your words…even if some of those images make me sad…your writing is just so very fluidic and moving to me. I want to thank you for putting them here to share :)
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many many thanks christina! :) most of the literary pieces in there are bleak because they were written during such a dark period of uncertainty :p but if you’d look closer you will find that each of them have their own little moments of “redemption,” if I may say. i hope you could take out of them the message i sought to put across :) i hope there is good reason to write some more :D
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You are so welcome, I feel like I should be thanking you!! ;) I totally understand the ‘bleak, dark period’. I too am going through that.
I am having a really elightening time going through your different posts and yes, I do find the moments of ‘redemption’in there! :)
I look forward to reading more you have already written and potential new posts to come! You are most definitely very talented my friend! :)
Blessings and best wishes for a wonderful day/evening!!
Christina ~
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that’s very generous of you, christina :) thanks! hope you are enjoying the weekend.
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Neil! :)
As always, found myself drawn to your blogs. Great site! :)
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Thanks, Lis. So nice to hear from you again :)
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Hi Neil – thanks for visiting my blog recently. I’ve just hit the ‘subscribe’ button and look forward to reading mroe of your posts in the future.
Have a great day :D xx
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hello, chloe! i enjoyed reading your posts that i included your blog in my blogroll. cheers! :)
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Hi Neil – thank you! I have done the same for you too. Happy writing! xx
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