For Loss of Words — Read by Christina Gregory

FOR LOSS OF WORDS is about love, loss, the art of photography and a million words. I wrote this piece for a friend of mine after parting ways with her photographer boyfriend. This one’s written from the photog’s point of view.

Read by an amazing woman, Christina Gregory (formerly Brownlee), it is one of my most memorable works owing to the many colorful (and, at times, painful) backstories behind its writing and events post publishing.

*Amplification or headphone required for best listening.

For Loss of Words from The Caffeine Chronicles, My Pretzel Logic

This is my portrait of you.
It speaks to me in strange, colored verses,
in whispered codes of ancient languages.
I often get that illusion.  You are not easy to ignore.
I’ve long studied its dog-eared corners, one by one,
pressed against the fluorescent light.
I’ve made its hidden legends my own and let them float
with gray-streaked butterflies in olden seas of remembrance.
Does your sadness speak of me?
What is it worth – this picture,
your tender dedication that peers through splintered glass
from which I see myself?
Have my hands trembled so hard it shook your world?
Will you ever see why this picture is all about you?
The shadows adore you, the sun-kissed curves,
the wayward tresses that define you, your omnipresence –
the magic of always being where the sun wants you.
Even the moonbeams seek the darker side of your afflictions.
Those rarest of moments your eyes find my lens tell me
that ships have finally come to berth,
that there are no more worlds to conquer.
But life has a way of fading out-of-focus, like snapshots.
Haven’t I reminded you enough where to stand, when to smile,
whether it’s time to look at me or turn away?
We were younger then.  We are no older now.
We never bothered about bigger things,
only details that mattered enough
because they can be hung in frames.
Our ponderwall.

I did not listen before.  But I am listening now.
Sometimes I wonder whether I have loved you enough
beneath the sound of closing shutters and flashing strobes.
I’m sorry I have given you nothing more than space.
I’m just seeing now the side of you I’ve never known.
But never think that I have taken your pictures
merely for loss of words.
Millions of them dwell in portraits,
within forgotten corners, within their breadth.
But this empty house tells me words cannot be uttered.
For now, let me savor their untold tales.
Let me recount the ardent hopes in sublime passages
and spools of thoughts.  Let august winds permeate the soul.
Then remind me that, in a digital world, it is never the subject.
Today my universe had gotten bigger.
I won’t be asking for anything more than clear skies
of purple hues with pulsars beating their science of light.
It’s just that every time the curtains go down and a journey begins
I’d know a previous journey had ended.
But isn’t this the way of the world?
From now until then, all I will have is this picture.
I look at it then close my eyes.
I see gray-streaked butterflies in cupboards.
I see some distant night two people danced
before a window of stars,
behind the soft drapes of Coltrane.
I see shades of days underneath the molave tree.
I see you smiling the day we first met.
My sadness makes you immortal.

(be still)

66 thoughts on “For Loss of Words — Read by Christina Gregory

    • hi tina! thank you for the sweet sweet nomination! I’ll be more than happy to pass it on. i’ll do one post to cover several nominations, including this, i received within the last 2 weeks. again, thank you!


  1. I just listened and read this again today and was moved all over again…. the combination of the words with the voice go so well together….. it’s funny because we were just discussing this together in terms of people reading Neruda’s poetry aloud (thank you once again for sending me those – you are wonderful!!!).


  2. With all my heart I thank you Neil. To see/hear the beauty of Christina coming out once more after so very much pain and suffering which she has bravely endured (her emotions hidden from most) day after endless day. To see her smiling, laughing and beginning again (from the inside out) to live again, I most sincerely thank you so very very much, my friend for making that special difference that we all can need in moments of our life, Sincerely – Penny


  3. What a blessing to read, listen to, experience! Thank you both pretzellogic and Christina …. this was simply splendid. Heartfelt words — touching and moving on many levels. A wonderful collaboration ~ LOVED IT! xo Robyn


  4. Wow this really is truly amazing stuff, I don’t think you could have found a better voice to match such beautiful words, what a wonderful collaboration. I couldn’t help but think of Jim Morrison whilst listening to the lyrics and the way the poem was expressed, Transcendent springs to mind.


    • thank you for your kind thoughts! yeah, i couldn’t have found a better voice for the prose poem. it is a huge compliment just to be in the same thought with jim morrison. haven’t heard of Transcendent though but will sure check them out now.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s