FOR LOSS OF WORDS is about love, loss, the art of photography and a million words. I wrote this piece for a friend of mine after parting ways with her photographer boyfriend. This one’s written from the photog’s point of view.
Read by an amazing woman, Christina Gregory (formerly Brownlee), it is one of my most memorable works owing to the many colorful (and, at times, painful) backstories behind its writing and events post publishing.
*Amplification or headphone required for best listening.
For Loss of Words from The Caffeine Chronicles, My Pretzel Logic
This is my portrait of you.
It speaks to me in strange, colored verses,
in whispered codes of ancient languages.
I often get that illusion. You are not easy to ignore.
I’ve long studied its dog-eared corners, one by one,
pressed against the fluorescent light.
I’ve made its hidden legends my own and let them float
with gray-streaked butterflies in olden seas of remembrance.
Does your sadness speak of me?
What is it worth – this picture,
your tender dedication that peers through splintered glass
from which I see myself?
Have my hands trembled so hard it shook your world?
Will you ever see why this picture is all about you?
The shadows adore you, the sun-kissed curves,
the wayward tresses that define you, your omnipresence –
the magic of always being where the sun wants you.
Even the moonbeams seek the darker side of your afflictions.
Those rarest of moments your eyes find my lens tell me
that ships have finally come to berth,
that there are no more worlds to conquer.
But life has a way of fading out-of-focus, like snapshots.
Haven’t I reminded you enough where to stand, when to smile,
whether it’s time to look at me or turn away?
We were younger then. We are no older now.
We never bothered about bigger things,
only details that mattered enough
because they can be hung in frames.
Our ponderwall.
I did not listen before. But I am listening now.
Sometimes I wonder whether I have loved you enough
beneath the sound of closing shutters and flashing strobes.
I’m sorry I have given you nothing more than space.
I’m just seeing now the side of you I’ve never known.
But never think that I have taken your pictures
merely for loss of words.
Millions of them dwell in portraits,
within forgotten corners, within their breadth.
But this empty house tells me words cannot be uttered.
For now, let me savor their untold tales.
Let me recount the ardent hopes in sublime passages
and spools of thoughts. Let august winds permeate the soul.
Then remind me that, in a digital world, it is never the subject.
Today my universe had gotten bigger.
I won’t be asking for anything more than clear skies
of purple hues with pulsars beating their science of light.
It’s just that every time the curtains go down and a journey begins
I’d know a previous journey had ended.
But isn’t this the way of the world?
From now until then, all I will have is this picture.
I look at it then close my eyes.
I see gray-streaked butterflies in cupboards.
I see some distant night two people danced
before a window of stars,
behind the soft drapes of Coltrane.
I see shades of days underneath the molave tree.
I see you smiling the day we first met.
My sadness makes you immortal.
(be still)
Neil~~ that was an awesome piece. Very inspirational.
Thanks for sharing.
~~~Felicia
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Thanks very much, Felicia :)
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This is so beautiful, completely overwhelmed me. Thank you.
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thank you so much! a happy new year to you!
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What an amazing poem Neil! I love the way you can paint a picture with your words. You truly have a gift!
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appreciate it, lily. really glad you liked it.
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Wow, wow, wow. This is a beautiful and impressive poem. I had to copy and paste it to my friends yesterday. Had to share it. Be blessed, mary
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Correction: I copy and pasted your link to the poem! :-)
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thank you so much for taking time to read and share my poem, mary. it means a lot to me. this is actually part of what i call “the caffeine chronicles,” which shares a word with the name of your blog. cheers! :) — neil
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Utterly hearfelt! I was overwhelmed with simultaneous sorrow and happiness! Amazing writing!
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appreciate your comment :)
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This is so beautiful
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thank you! :)
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No, this is not spam, this is just a gesture for ‘Hey, I love your writings so much, I don’t mind giving you a virtual award’.
So here: http://boozesexsundry.wordpress.com/2012/09/29/i-made-someones-day-and-got-awarded-for-it/
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spam messages never lead to ernie and bert :) you are wonderful, kanchi! this is a “badass” award and thank you so much for making my day! all the best to you and your blog — neil
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Haha, touche. I see the picture working now. And thankyou Neil, you are wonderful yourself. :)
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: )
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To say that this is really beautiful is to say nothing. When art is sincere and touches personally, it just does. And there’ s no need to say much. Thank you
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thank you so much : )
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A lovely image painted with powerful words! Flowing and beautifully sad. I love the audio as well!
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thank you so much! on the other hand, listening to your cool audio introduced me to a wide spectrum of voice-over delivery options. thank you for that too! :)
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My pleasure! It’s all new to me!
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I’m so overwhelmed… I’m truly at a loss for words—–
“Have my hands trembled so hard it shook your world?”
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truly appreciate your kind WORDS :)
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Amazing Poetry. Especially the last line “(be still).”
Greetings,
I’ve nominated your wonderful blog for The Super Sweet Blogging Award. Congratulations! For instructions, please visit my blog at http://tinaliu517.wordpress.com/awards/the-super-sweet-blogging-award/.
-Tina
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hi tina! thank you for the sweet sweet nomination! I’ll be more than happy to pass it on. i’ll do one post to cover several nominations, including this, i received within the last 2 weeks. again, thank you!
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Reblogged this on I am Super Istar and commented:
Pablo Neruda, Neil and Christina all rolled into one! I am in love with this collaboration! ♥
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heyy, thanks for the reblog! :) I see that you’ve associated the Il Postino theme with Pablo Neruda. I have too. His “Tonight I Write the Saddest Lines” interpreted by Andy Garcia is simply memorable.
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You are most welcome, it is worth a reblog believe me! I love Pablo Neruda’s poem so much, “Tonight I Can Write the Saddest Lines” by Andy G. is my 2nd fave live poetry after “How to be Alone” by Tanya Davis. :) POETRY is pure and should be shared to everyone!
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i need to check “how to be alone” :)
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oh i see. i’ve seen it before. nice!
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Go ahead, tell me if you like it! Tanya Davis HAS that talent when it comes to poetry reading :)
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she’s very good! as far as poetry reading is concerned, i think glenn close’s reading of “I Like for You to be Still” is superb.
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Hmmm, that I do not know, so it’s my turn to listen! :)
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I just listened and read this again today and was moved all over again…. the combination of the words with the voice go so well together….. it’s funny because we were just discussing this together in terms of people reading Neruda’s poetry aloud (thank you once again for sending me those – you are wonderful!!!).
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you are most welcome! i love neruda’s poetry. it is a shame i only heard of him a few years ago. as with some poems in my opinion, his poetry is meant to be heard than read.
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I agree, I think his is best read out loud at the very least (even with my terrible Spanish!)
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my spanish is probably worse than yours. i was referring though to the english translation readings in the il postino track. oh yeah, it’s an oversight on my part. his works are mostly, if not all, in spanish.
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his poetry is beautiful in English or Spanish though…. it seems to transcend the words at times which is odd as the languages are so different! Maybe that’s the sign of a great poet :)
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i think so too :)
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With all my heart I thank you Neil. To see/hear the beauty of Christina coming out once more after so very much pain and suffering which she has bravely endured (her emotions hidden from most) day after endless day. To see her smiling, laughing and beginning again (from the inside out) to live again, I most sincerely thank you so very very much, my friend for making that special difference that we all can need in moments of our life, Sincerely – Penny
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i am sincerely very happy to know that, penny. i have learned a lot from our little collaboration and realized that there so many things that can be done much better with the help of others. maybe i’m even happier than she is to have this project come to fruition. nobody could have done it better than her.
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I agree with all your words and am pleased that your project was finally able to be completed and shared with all of us! Penny
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:D
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What a blessing to read, listen to, experience! Thank you both pretzellogic and Christina …. this was simply splendid. Heartfelt words — touching and moving on many levels. A wonderful collaboration ~ LOVED IT! xo Robyn
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thank you very much, robyn, for watching the video. indeed two heads are better than one. :)
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Absolutely – and the combination just works so well… such a treat to hear beautiful sweet Christina’s voice — and your poem so emotional and touching. Very special!!
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i agree, robyn. this video is very special indeed! thank you :)
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So haunting and beautiful. The line my sadness makes you immortal brought me to my knees. Stunning!
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appreciate your kind words!
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Beautifully written…..lovingly spoken. Simply a perfect collaboration.
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thank you very much for reading/watching!
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Wow this really is truly amazing stuff, I don’t think you could have found a better voice to match such beautiful words, what a wonderful collaboration. I couldn’t help but think of Jim Morrison whilst listening to the lyrics and the way the poem was expressed, Transcendent springs to mind.
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thank you for your kind thoughts! yeah, i couldn’t have found a better voice for the prose poem. it is a huge compliment just to be in the same thought with jim morrison. haven’t heard of Transcendent though but will sure check them out now.
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Wow, I loved listening to her voice. So beautiful and so soothing.
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isn’t her voice lovely. i used the voice over exactly the way she sent it, without any enhancement. it was perfect on the first take!
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very moving! Beautiful!
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thank you very much!
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Reblogged this on reconstructingchristina and commented:
I have the highest honor of getting to read aloud Neil’s amazing poem “For Loss of Words” There are no words to describe what an incredible collaboration this was for me. Thank you Neil…so much!! :D
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more to come :) thanks for lending your wonderful voice!
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Anytime…. :D I’ll be looking forward to that!! ;)
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Neil, this was such an honor for me….you did such an fantastically brilliant job with this. I’m speechless. Thank you so much :D !!
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oh, not as brilliant as your voice :) never in my wildest dreams had i imagined it would be read as heartfelt as you did. no, thank YOU!
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:D !!! It was only as good as the written work…. ;) But I very sincerely appreciate your very very sweet praise indeed!!
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great job! :)
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Ditto sweet sir! Ditto!!!! :D
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